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Eurovision Song Contest 2011

Eurovision Song Contest 2011

Azerbaijan triumphed but Blue restored some pride for the UK, while elves and sand provided the novelty factor

You might not be entirely sure how it's spelled, the name of its capital or indeed exactly where it is, but the oil-rich Caucasus country put itself on the map tonight by clinching a surprise win in the Eurovision Song Contest, hosted in Düsseldorf. The UK can claim a victory of sorts, however, as the female half of the triumphant duo lives in Enfield, north London.
This was a show to test viewers’ stamina, good will and cheese tolerance. Clocking in at three-and-a-half hours, it felt even longer. The Germans did a slick enough job of the actual singing bit.
The production, in a 35,000-seat arena converted from a football stadium, seamlessly rattled through the 25 numbers. However, there was then half-an-hour of recaps and filler, before we sat through scores dribbling in from 43 international juries. Tension dissipated. Will to live was lost. Nodding off occurred on sofas nationwide, as did tutting from football fans forced to wait an extra quarter hour for Match Of The Day.
Yet that interminable final hour shouldn’t detract from an overall impressive show. It wasn’t quite as relentlessly odd as it used to be. There were strong performances of proper songs: Denmark’s punky upstarts, Sweden’s disco-pop, Iceland’s folky campfire singalong and Serbia’s retro Motown jive.
Normal novelty service wasn’t resumed until Moldova took to the stage in pointy gnome hats, playing fairground music and joined by a unicycling fairy. We Brits love an eccentric and awarded them eight points. Ukraine picked up the bizarre baton by having an on-stage “sand artist”. Also present and correct were the pidgin English lyrics to most songs, which seemed to comprise randomly-generated statements fed through a translation website.
Home interest came from the battle of the boybands. Reformed quartet Blue did a decent job for the UK, despite their overly-literal and cheap-looking blue suits. They didn’t dance as much as stand in a line and emote, but the arena audience seemed to appreciate it. More entertaining were X Factor alumni Jedward representing Ireland, who pogo-ed about the stage like hyperactive toddlers. Toddlers who, sadly, can’t sing so much as breathlessly shout.
There was an early flurry of excitement when both Jedward and Blue got some big scores from the early juries. For a fleeting two minutes, the UK even topped the scoreboard. It was all downhill from there, though. Blue finished 11th – in the upper half of the table, at least – with the endearingly dippy Jedward a few places above them in 8th.
Azerbaijan won with mid-tempo, soft rock-tinged ballad Running On Scared, crooned by white-clad, chemistry-free couple Ell and Nikki. It was pleasant enough but about as memorable as a beige wall.
Their closest rivals were a surprise: Italy’s smug, jazzy pianist was like an ugly Jamie Cullum but miraculously clinched second place. Sweden came in third, the top five completed by sandy Ukraine and punky Denmark – who provided one of the more amusing moments when the camera cut to the green room and the spiky-haired singer, presumably having availed himself of the complimentary refreshments, profanely described what he wanted to do to the hostess.
The worst song by far, Greece’s “poperap” effort (that’s pop meets opera meets rap and just as bad as it sounds) somehow finished in the top ten. Another surprise hit was the yodeling geriatric from Bosnia & Herzegovina. Switzerland’s buskers got the wooden spoon. Germany’s champion Lena Meyer-Landrut failed to defend her title and runaway favourites France didn’t even make the top half. Serves them right – the Paris jury was the only one to refuse to give their results in English.
Tactical voting was as brazen as ever, with everyone backing their neighbours. The German presenters in the arena were a tedious threesome: two glamorous women who thought they were funny flanking a doughy-faced, David Brent-ish man who thought he was a rock star. We’ll never have to see those three again, thankfully.
Meanwhile, BBC commentator Graham Norton enjoyed his strongest performance since taking over from Terry Wogan three contests ago. He was warm and well-informed with a nice line in understated sarcasm. He didn’t seem to get increasingly “avuncular” with the aid of Bailey’s like Wogan allegedly used to, but Norton was certainly entitled to a job-well-done tipple once the credits rolled.
So Blue restored a modicum of pride after last ear’s wooden spoon, but the overlong proceedings ended with a whimper. Still, if you’d rather not worry about the precise geographical location of Azerbaijan, just pretend The Democratic Republic Of Enfield won.
Source:telegraph


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